GAG ME WITH A TOILET-WATER KETCHUP PACKET

Being a parent is sometimes gross. All parents, anyone who takes care of children for that matter, knows this. Poop and vomit stories abound. I won't bore you with those. In the past month the following things have happened:

I discovered a jet black long-dead banana behind the cannon. It was bleeding some sort of nasty banana-funk ooze.

I had to fish a ketchup packet out of the toilet that Safa managed to shove between my legs while I was peeing.

I discovered Ava's lunch box in the car after about a week and a half. Her uneaten sandwich--I kid you not--had turned into toxic soup. I swear I can still smell it.

I saw Safa feed Miles from her fork, then put in back into her mouth.

RIDE THE PONY

Look at that belly...delicious

I love this picture. I was very unsucccessful

getting pics of her in this on her 2nd birthday. This year was slightly better.

THE MORNING EDEN TURNED THREE

The All-Up-in-Your Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test AKA The Homestudy Process

We had the first visit of our homestudy yesterday. A homestudy is a mandatory part of every adoption and is completed by a social worker. The process takes several weeks to complete. And although everything you read tells you that the home visit portion is not meant to be a white glove inspection, it can still be a little unnerving. It did help a bit that I'd met our social worker before and she happens to be the sister of one of my favorite people on the planet. But it can make you a bit jittery and crazy knowing someone is coming to check out your house and ask you somewhat personal questions. By "somewhat personal questions" I mean things like "How many times do you poop each year?" and "How often, on average, do you mutter foul cursings in any given day?" Just kidding. I actually have much dirtier, and therefore in my opinion, much funnier versions of these fake questions, but my internal censor suggests I keep them to myself. So I will. But I suggest you come up with a few of your own.

Anyway, we spent the weekend cleaning and doing all the things we should have done before Ava was born, like tearing down the meth lab and clearing out the broken glass in the living room. We also put up a stair gate. I also will confess to a crazy moment of spraying air freshener in the garage---was I losing my mind? I mean I hadn't even vacuumed in there yet. And despite the knowledge that the process is not meant to be stressful, this is also not the time to be cool and nonchalant either. You don't really want to look like you didn't do anything to prepare, but you don't want to come off as obsessed neat freaks either. So you have to strike the balance. In the end, it was fine. More than fine. Our social worker put us immediately at ease and it was like talking to a friend. And she didn't even set foot in the garage.

TODDLERHOOD IS UPON US

Safa, or as I like to call her Tyrant Sister Queen (TSQ for short), has entered toddlerhood. How do I know this? Because within a ten minute period the following two things happened: She laid down a nasty 6 inch scratch on Eden's thigh for absolutely no reason accompanied by some sort of shrieking that scared us all, and as I finished biting off the last fingernail while she struggled to get free (I couldn't find the nailclippers plus I was just in the mood) I said, "Here, have this" and tossed her some unimportant toiletry item, then, "I'm about to give your ass some Benadryl." I didn't. But I might.

April 25 2007

Today we sent the application to Children's Home and Family Services (CHSFS) along with proof of medical insurance and two pictures--one of our house and one of the five of us. Meghan took about ten pictures of us right before Ava and Eden were about to go to school. We found one that worked. One that we hoped said "We can do this. We are ready."

I think of you a lot. I've been thinking of you for years. But who is this "you"? Maybe it's not even "you", but "both of you". Are you a resilient four-year-old? A tiny infant? Perhaps you've not even been born yet. Boy or girl? It's an interesting thing to love someone you don't know. Someone you've never met. But this is what we humans do isn't it? We fall in love with the baby long before we hold them in our arms. We daydream about what they will look like and how their skin will feel touching ours. Adoption is just a gestation of another kind. Today wasn't a very big step in the overall process of adopting internationally. But it feels big to us. Because with it we are saying, "We are coming for you."

Here We Go!!!

The purpose of this blog will be to chronicle our process of adopting from Ethiopia. We are so thrilled to be finally beginning the journey after years of waiting! I have known that I wanted to adopt since I was a teenager. Erik and I have been discussing it for over a decade. We cannot wait to meet the next member of our seemingly ever-expanding family.


Why Ethiopia? I will someday soon write a bit about the amazingly rich culture of Ethiopia and its history. For now I will answer this question on a personal level. There are some practical reasons---the length of time required to stay is shorter than many other countries' programs, the fee's are more reasonable than other programs, the children are not generally exposed to prenatal substance abuse, the level of care they receive in our agency's care center is high (although it is still institutional living in a Third World country). Ethiopian children rarely have attachment issues because children are so highly regarded in their culture. What this means is that most often they have been loved and have loved. And children who have loved and been loved, can love and accept love once again.

Most of it I feel in my heart though. After deciding years ago on Ethiopia, I forced myself to consider adopting domestically. Then other countries---India? What about Guatemala? But my heart kept leading me back to Ethiopia until finally it became impossible to ignore. I even said out loud on more than one occasion, " If we don't do it from there, I can't see doing it at all." My mind literally couldn't create the image of another path. The truth is the best answer I have to "Why Ethiopia?" is this one that I read from another adoptive mama---Because that is where my children are.

Safa

screamer in delight and anger down dog peek-a-boo, tummy patting sing along, clap along, big sister tag along trying to keep up, abandoned cup scavenger, climber cuddles, pointing, and "uh-ooohhh" looter of pens, eater of crayons, opportunistic raider tough, no b.s taking, knows karate and ka-razy joker, animal lover, book fanatic bath splasher, happy riser, sweet baby breath loud, lunchbox lover, dog follower  slow teether, fast walker, sisters' biggest fan