GAG ME WITH A TOILET-WATER KETCHUP PACKET

Being a parent is sometimes gross. All parents, anyone who takes care of children for that matter, knows this. Poop and vomit stories abound. I won't bore you with those. In the past month the following things have happened:

I discovered a jet black long-dead banana behind the cannon. It was bleeding some sort of nasty banana-funk ooze.

I had to fish a ketchup packet out of the toilet that Safa managed to shove between my legs while I was peeing.

I discovered Ava's lunch box in the car after about a week and a half. Her uneaten sandwich--I kid you not--had turned into toxic soup. I swear I can still smell it.

I saw Safa feed Miles from her fork, then put in back into her mouth.